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The Mini-Skirt Mob (1968)

Reviewed on 2010 April 25

Hilariously awful American International Picture that makes their beach picture dreck look like nuanced masterpieces. This gem was released on an MGM “Midnite Movie” DVD back-to-back with that other fine oeuvre, Chrome and Hot Leather, which at least gave us something that knew it was stupid, and it had William Smith, who is always decent to watch. This was just crap that wasn’t even self-aware of its crapaliciousness, and Mr. Shukti and I laughed like hyenas at it.

Life should be sweet for Lon (Jeremy Slate), a rodeo star who just settled down with his new wife Connie (Sherry Jackson). Lon just wants to get settled on his ranch with Connie, but there’s a fly in the ointment: Shayne (Diane McBain), a former lover of Lon’s and the leader of a female motorcycle gang, who wants Lon back. Everyone seems to be afraid of Shayne, who, based on the fact that her hair has more frosting than Betty Crocker, is clearly the baaaaaaaaadest bad girl. She coaxes everyone in her gang to torment Lon and Connie until Lon relents and comes back to her. Nothing will stop the relentless Shayne, not even her little sister Edie (Patty McCormack, the Bad Seed herself and actually the only redeeming thing in this movie).

I know it was released in 1968 and things were more restricted back then, but these did not look like outlaw biker women at all. I guess their idea of making a “bad girl” was giving her a little extra eye-liner and dumping a can of Aqua Net® over her head. The dialogue and acting were as stiff as the hair and we were both kind of hoping Lon would dump Connie, who sounded like a chihuahua with a squeak-toy, and go back to Shayne. About the only thing I can say about it is it lends itself to an MST3K-style running commentary. Oh, and good news! There’s a theme song too.

No morsel for you!

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