the Thinking Chicks Guide to Movies

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Heavy Metal (1981)

Reviewed on 2008 January 19

It’s old. The dialogue is silly. The women in this thing, if they existed in real life, couldn’t walk upright. It was written for (and by?) fourteen-year-old males. It’s inane.

And yet I still enjoyed this thing.

This is a series of stories, strung together by a talking malevolent orb (yeah I know, that’s why it’s a cult flick), that showcase animation and serve as a backdrop for some fine rock music. You know you’re not in for a Disney movie when the movie opens with… a space Camaro. An astronaut comes home to his daughter, bearing a glowing sphere that soon threatens the little girl with tales of destruction and ruin.

Here’s where the cartoonists get to trot out stuff that “Adult Swim” wouldn’t touch. We get stoner humor, blood and guts, everything naughty, really, and it’s set to stuff from bands like Black Sabbath and Blue Öyster Cult. I feel like it’s sexist in places — really obnoxious in some — but I can get past that because of the animation and the music. For the record, my favorite sequence is “B-17”.

At least the movie is consistent. We start with a space Camaro; we end with a thong-wearing warrior chick flying into battle on space poultry.

Two chocolate morsels, and I can’t think of anything better to go with it than a good, greasy pizza. For optimum guilty-pleasure experience you should watch it late at night when you need to be somewhere the next day.


morsel morsel

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