Bride Wars (2009)
Reviewed on 2009 November 24
Bear in mind that this review is coming from an anti-Bridezilla that doesn’t have any patience for this sort of Martha Stewart stuff. When I got married, the only thing I really required to go down the aisle was Mr. Shukti, waiting for me at the end of it. Oh, I wanted some red roses in my bouquet, but the rest was just details. I fully expected to hate this movie, and I can honestly tell you I didn’t. Hate simply isn’t strong enough a word.
Emma (Anne Hathaway) and Liv (Kate Hudson) are life-long best friends who share a common dream: a wedding at the Plaza, the holy grail for yup-tuals. They’re both delighted to be engaged within days of each other, but despite the use of a slick wedding planner (Candace Bergen), somehow they both get booked for the same Saturday in June. Their grooms calmly suggest having a double wedding, and since Emma and Liv both share the same circle of catty superficial friends, this would be easy, not to mention an excuse to just have the mother of all parties. The girls have none of this and spend the remainder of the movie ignoring their life-long sisterhood (and their men) so they can brawl like Mothra and Godzilla.
I wonder why men think women are neurotic, and then I see this. There was not one truly likable woman in this thing, and that’s not just a nitpick, that’s a logic issue. What guy would have put up with this? I know it’s just a movie, and that’s no excuse. This thing is crap. Even Kate Hudson getting Easter-egg-colored hair didn’t make me smile. There’s a really jaw-dropping part where Emma says she’s saved for her wedding since she was fifteen, and I wondered why she didn’t just fly to Hawaii with her fiance and bankroll that money into a house, but then I remember that this came from Hollywood, the same place that depicts families with dream dates and sing-a-longs a la Stepmom.
Bad movie! No morsel for you!